I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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