when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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