she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
These tits shall not be calmed
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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