i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
