You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
