now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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