Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
