Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
