I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
