Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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