So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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