playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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