a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Just puked most of my soul out..
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
