Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
