he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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