Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
