He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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