At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
