he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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