found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
