I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
