You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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