dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
