It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You're like the curious george of whores
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Randomize
