My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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