We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
