My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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