You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
