People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
