There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
