Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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