i barfeds in our rink
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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