Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
