the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
