nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
