FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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