I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Alive.
So much puke
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
