Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
