Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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