Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize