I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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