Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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