I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
