I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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