kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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