I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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