Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
