Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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