Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
