I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
