does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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